“DEATH” the name itself brings that feeling of fear and anxiety …

    You may wonder why I have decided to talk about this today but I feel like someone needs to hear this today, a lot of people have battled with and are still battling with grief …people like me, whether it’s the death of a loved one, a relative ,or a friend it hurts the same, the pain is the same, because there is no measurement for pain, pain is pain, a loss is a loss, saying one hurts more than the other is unfair, I believe in life after death, I believe in heaven and hell, so it’s safe to say that when death strikes the people left behind, the ones who are left with the grief and emptiness suffer the most and there is no time frame or manual for dealing with grief , we all process pain differently, and we heal at different paces too.

I lost my father at the age of 16 and because it all happened right before my own eyes it was very difficult to let go,  those images hunted me for a very very long time, every day it would replay in my head just like a movie, every day I could see him laying on the road in a pool of blood, I would see how he lay in my arms unconscious and barely breathing, the blood on my shirt and the numbness I felt at that moment from watching my superman pass on…

  I come from a society no one really wants to talk to you about these things,

They just expect you to pack up your feelings and carry on with life which inspired me to write this blog post, people process pain differently and we have to understand that, it took me years to finally get over it and move on and it takes some people even longer, for me I went through 3 different stages, shock, denial and owning it before I could finally let go. At first I was in shock, I couldn’t understand that it was possible for my dad to leave me I mean I never thought he could die.. Lol..i must have thought he was really a superman, then after that stage I tried to avoid my pain, i couldn’t come to terms with what had happened to me ,

I rebelled , hated God, most days I would call him and unfair God and question him, I would ask for death…

I was so angry, I could’nt cried, I didn’t cry for 2 years, I couldn’t even come home because I was waiting for my dad to call me home, I would move from one friend’s house to another, I always found an opportunity to avoid my house so I wouldn’t face the truth that my dad was really gone, thinking my dad might just get so mad that he would wake up and drag me back home, my poor widowed mother was too depressed to even notice all this …then one day I made peace with God I decided to trust him and believe that he has great plans for me, that my dad had gone to a better place because God loves him more than I do and that everything happens for a reason which would turn out to be good eventually, that was how I was able to own my pain, I took it all in allowing it break me down to build me up, I cried , for days I cried so much it was so hard but I had to tough it out because it was mine, and yes it hurt so bad but I suddenly started to get my strength back, I slowly began to find joy and to let go of my sadness and grief, I started to talk about it and I wasn’t scared of mentioning his name anymore, I knew he would always live in my heart and that not even death can take that away, it felt really good having something that you know is completely yours, your memories of your loved ones who have passed on are all yours to keep forever, you may feel like life isn’t fair when death comes but always remember that if it wasn’t  God’s will it wouldn’t have happened , God loves you so much, never doubt that, own your pain for it will only break you to make you, you will rise stronger after you grief only then will you be able to move on, pain is weakness leaving your body.

     Do not be quick to judge people when they are grieving try to understand them and exercise more patience’

Be kind, try to talk about it more, say a prayer for them and be more patient, because only God can truly grant one the strength, peace and comfort to get through a loss and the truth is it could take years to eventually heal. always remember that sweeping it under the carpet never makes it go away , pray for the demised and the soul that has just grown its wings that they may be forgiven of all earthly sins and will go to a good place.

God Bless You.

Nita Okoye.

PS: i want to know how you feel so be sure to leave me a comment, come say hi to me on any of my social media handles , don’t be a stranger i want to know you… xoxo



if you enjoyed reading this post share it you never know who needs to hear these words… sharing is caring.

148 thoughts on “GRIEF…. AND MOVING ON…

  1. It’s always easy to share the good things but it takes so much effort and courage to share what hurts. Thank you for sharing your story. It’s an inspiration.

    1. Yes, you are right Rozelyn.. But for our mental health and that of our loved ones its very important that we endeavor to talk about these things, it wasn’t easy for me to share this publicly but just the thought that I could help someone with this encouraged me to.
      Thank you!

    1. Death isn’t something to be afraid of, instead we should prepare for it , may we never die with an unfulfilled destiny, but when the time comes which it will make sure you are going to a good place because that is the most important thing, we are just passing through this world as visitors that is why we need to fix our ways and make peace with heavenly father so that when the time comes we shall grow our wings peacefully . thanks Sophia!

    1. Yes it is….talking about it here wasn’t easy too, but we have to, owning our pain is a huge step in moving on.. Thank you Andrea

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